Snowy Days

Fort Wayne got dumped on over the weekend. It was the perfect time to go sledding, build snowmen and build tunnels through the backyard. But what do my boys want to do? Obstacle races through the family room:

Here are some things you should know about the video, which is very amateur and not very funny in and of itself:

1) I was asked to be the sports commentator by the boys. I never said I was good at it.  Bob Costas/Bob Cutlass I am not. Oh, and I can be funny on paper, you know, the written word? On the spot, not so much. Which is why I keep refusing stand-up comedy shows despite multiple requests. (-:

2) The boys were actually speeding to “Can’t Touch This” by McHammer blaring off Pandora. I neglected to turn the speakers up loud enough. And this whole statement is wrong on so many levels…

3) I wish I could tell you that Matt has no shirt on because he had just finished eating Chef Boyardee. Not exactly true. Actually, not true at all. I recently taught him how to remove his shirt by himself. Now he does it everywhere. Unaided. Without regret or remorse.

4) Nate’s in his good Catholic school uniform pants. Not good. We practiced this a few times before filming, and during one shining burst of spontaneous glory I told him I would go “old-school nun with a ruler on his a**” if he put a hole in them.

5) Yes, those are unwanted Christmas presents on one of the counter stools. I keep telling myself to do something about them: which basically means I move them from one stool to another each day. Give a mom a break: I had my Christmas tree down by mid-January. It could be worse…

6) Yes, Nate is leaping over the cushions of my once-good family room couch. Back in the warranty days, I was on a first-name basis with the stain removing people — a fixture in our home. Nowadays, the couch is covered with goldfish and wheat thin crumbs, dogs hairs, and remnants of cousin Robert’s regurgitated grape juice from Matt’s 4th birthday party.

7) Yes, the house is… well… cluttered. Unless you are offering to clean it or hook me up with an organizational consultant, you just keep those comments to yourself.

8) Finally, yes Matt cheated at the end of the video by cutting through the heavily-blockaded-by-well-worn-blue-pillows area on the hardwood floor. Yes this did result in Nate screaming “cut!” followed by all of the following: screaming, crying, pushing, more screaming, two time-outs and one yelling father. Shoulda stuck with snow angels…


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