Fruit snacks

First off, I must truly apologize that I don’t have a picture to accompany my lovely story. However, the picture would not have been as lovely. Earlier this week Matt had a MAJOR meltdown because I would not let him have fruit snacks for lunch. Not minor: I said major. As in 20+ minutes long. Screaming. Wailing. Declaring I wasn’t his mother anymore and that life was beyond unfair.

I don’t know how much more clear I can be with my son.

This is fruit:

This is not fruit:

That is not fruit. That is something that never really resembled fruit in the first place, throw in lots of sugar, squash it down flat with a heavy piece of machinery, and then call it fruit. Yes, it still says fruit on the box. I studied advertising you know: I know what packaging concepts AND false advertising are. It’s like calling fish sticks “fish” sticks, when everyone knows they took some unidentifiable sea particles, mashed them together and breaded them.

Let’s try this again.

This is healthy:

(And pretty, too!)

This is not healthy:

Oh sure. We’ve all been there. Try to tell yourself it’s all right because you bought the Mott’s All-Natural Fruit Snacks made of fruit and vegetable juices. Or the expensive Clif Natural Fruit Ropes. Well… those might be better, but they’re not the real deal. And they will not increase my son’s fruit repertoire which consists entirely of bananas, red applesauce, raisins and fruit juice. He won’t even eat plain applesauce anymore. It has to be red. Once I tried to get him to eat plain applesauce with a smidgen of food coloring in it. I kid you not he gave me a dirty look and asked me if that was my natural hair color, too. Need I remind you he’s FOUR.

You know how you know you’re in too deep? When you wake up one morning around six, there’s ten to twenty fruit snack wrappers in the garbage and both your kids are bouncing off their bedroom walls. What’s even worse is when you go and hide this “nectar of the Gods” in some locked down cabinet and one brother runs for a baseball bat while the other heads right for dad’s tool chest. I’ve often pictured Nate or Matt being arrested for some sort of petty crime, but I never dreamed it might be armed robbery of fruit particles.

So needless to say: We are going on a fruit snack hiatus. I may not buy them again: E-V-E-R! Oh you vile fruit things, oh you tempting and foolish — wait a minute while I take these fruit snacks out of my mouth: I can’t eat and type at once — morsels of sugared crack: I curse the day you were born!

Coming next week: fruit snacks part II, or why I stupidly purchased them again…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Allanya
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 19:21:42

    Jake was never into fruit snacks, but Isaac is big time. It’s best not to buy them or they are gone in a day. Great for the teeth too.


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