“I’ve got a poopy diaper”

"Get a whiff of this, ma!"

"Come back and change me!"

Thank God my children are out of this phase. But in listening to my beloved Adam Levine I was so inspired to write this (not sure he’d appreciate it). You should know when I was younger I always envisioned myself as a female Weird Al Yankovic. But alas, I cannot sing, and was also never discovered. But the desire is still there to be a parody pop-star (watch out, “The Voice,” here I come.):

I’VE GOT A POOPY DIAPER (c) 2012
(Sung to the tune of “Moves like Jagger” by Maroon 5)

I run out the door
in my pull-up.
It leaked on the floor…
Please don’t throw-up.
It made a mess…just like the rest…
I must confess…

I pooped in the car:
I won’t hold it.
The toilet is far:
And you know it.
You scream not to go
But here comes the flow
And I run the show.

Now it’s time you know

(chorus)
Take my by the legs
and hold me.
Take a deep breath
don’t scold me.

For a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-00-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.

I won’t even try to hold it.
In between my cheeks I’ll mold it.
It’s a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.

Just break out the wipes
from that fat bag.
They feel really nice
like a cool rag.
Just wipe away… I don’t want to stay…
I wanna go play..

You wanted me trained,
And I hate it.
It gives me no pain…
I won’t fake it.
You say that it’s time…
Have you lost your mind?
‘Cause I like my grime…

Now give me your time

(chorus)
Take my by the legs
and hold me.
Take a deep breath
don’t scold me.

For a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-00-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.

I won’t even try to hold it.
In between my cheeks I’ll mold it.
It’s a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.

(bridge)
You wanna know, how to make me stop?
Gimme MnM’s, or a lollipop.
But if I share my tinkle…
(More than a sprinkle)
Make your forehead wrinkle…

It’s just poop…It could be worse.
Like the day I barfed, right in your purse.
But if I share my tinkle…
(More than a sprinkle)
Oh your forehead wrinkles (hey, hey, hey, HEY!)

So it goes like this

Take my by the legs (Take me by the legs)
and hold me.
Take a deep breath
don’t scold me. (No, no, NO!)

For a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-00-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.
(Oh yeah!)
I won’t even try to hold it.
In between my cheeks I’ll mold it.

It’s a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poopy diaper.
I’ve got a poo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-py diaper.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Melissa
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 11:39:43

    That is awesome Amy!

    Reply

  2. Jenn
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 13:44:22

    Bwahahaha, my husband came downstairs to see what I was laughing about. That was hilarious!

    Reply

  3. Jenny Whitehead
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 21:09:12

    you SERIOUSLY have to record yourself singing this!!! LOLOLOL!!!

    Reply

  4. ClaireElaine
    Feb 24, 2012 @ 15:05:07

    Heehee! It’s so apropo for me right now.

    Reply

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