Son exposed

Dear Amy,

My lovely son, has a problem keeping his clothes on. We’re not just talking about at home we’re talking school, and public. We’ve tried everything and the only thing that seems to work is footie pjs. He just turned 3 and I know he can’t live the rest of his life in footie pjs, what should we do?

Dear Jenn,

First off, Dear Amy should begin by saying she sees no real problem with this. Little boys just don’t seem to like clothes, and let’s admit it: It’s a lot cuter now than the full-grown streaking version, like the nightmares I’ve been having since catching a glimpse of “Frank the Tank” in Old School. Personally, I say just let him be free (balling). You don’t even have to worry about breaking him of the habit, as a bunch of Mayans apparently got together and said we’ll all be gone come 12/21/12 anyway.

But should you really feel the al natural look is unacceptable, Dear Amy’s only suggestion is to dress him in things he simply won’t want to take off (or can’t). I have a few examples for you:

"I can't put my arms down!"

This is classic 1970’s circa attire that he will never be able to take off. And if he does, he most certainly should earn a “major award.”

Seriously, what kid doesn’t want to dress up as a scary, ugly mouse that serves insanely bad, over-priced pizza?

Darth Toddler

“Hmmmm. The Force is strong with this one. Remove his clothes he can. Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

This outfit even comes with easy access for all thing toileting. If he wants to take this one off, I would simply banish him to a pineapple under the sea.

And last but certainly not least, this outfit is modeled by my absolute favorite toddler at age 2, Matt:

Elmo's World

You could probably do the fireman, too, although the simple pants and jacket get-up are far too amateur for talented and elusive 3-year-olds.

I sincerely hope this helps. If not, you could prepare him for a future career as a Chippendale. From what I’ve heard (and seen 🙂 ), there is a lot of income potential in the stripper arts.

As always,

Dear Amy


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