Last Friday Night

“Weird Amy” is back again. I think this time the rhyming inspiration came from taking Matt to see Dr. Seuss‘s The Lorax. Anyway, hope you enjoy my tribute to our Friday nights and Katy Perry:

Last Friday Night [To the tune “Last Friday Night” by Katy Perry]
(c) 2012

There’s two children in my bed
A pug sitting on my head
Legos all over the room
Toddler riding on a broom
I don’t smell just like a flower
Really need to have a shower
Underwear on the TV
Slightly reeking of stale pee

(pre-chorus)
Only saving grace
Dropping both kids off
for school
Oh yeah
In the summertime
I just drink my wine
and drool
Yeah

(chorus)
Last Friday night
Yeah we ate up the Pop Tarts
Made a contest from our farts
Think they bathed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Running naked through the halls
Drawing pictures on the walls
Almost lost them at the mall
Last Friday night
Tried to sell them to the zoo
Toilet’s clogged with icky poo
What’s a mom supposed to do
Last Friday night
CPS is on alert
Is that ketchup on my shirt, irt, yeah
This Friday night
Do it all… again
This Friday night
Do it all… again

Need a sitter for date night
Children putting up a fight
Parents won’t help anymore
So I kicked them out the door
Crunchy stuff is in their beds
One is sporting brand new dreads
Caught the sitter try to bale
That was such an epic fail

(pre-chorus)
Only saving grace
Dropping both kids off
for school
Oh yeah
In the summertime
I just drink my wine
and drool
Yeah

(chorus)
Last Friday night
Yeah we ate up the Pop Tarts
Made a contest from our farts
Think they bathed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Running naked through the halls
Drawing pictures on the walls
Almost lost them at the mall
Last Friday night
Tried to sell them to the zoo
Toilet’s clogged with icky poo
What’s a mom supposed to do
Last Friday night
CPS is on alert
Is that ketchup on my shirt, irt, no…
But Friday night
Do it all… again
This Friday night
Do it all… again

L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.
L.M.A.O.

Last Friday night
Yeah we ate up the Pop Tarts
Made a contest from our farts
Think they bathed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Running naked through the halls
Drawing pictures on the walls
Almost lost them at the mall
Last Friday night                                                                                              
Tried to sell them to the zoo
Toilet’s clogged with icky poo
What’s a mom supposed to do
Last Friday night
CPS is on alert
Is that ketchup on my shirt, irt, no…
But Friday night
Do it all… again

The Skids

Reflective Thoughts by Amy #2234: Why is it my boys use half a roll of toilet paper each time, but still have skid marks on their underwear?

Too many beans...

LMN

Reflective Thoughts by Amy #2174: You know you are a good mother after watching The Lifetime Movie Network and seeing how much worse you could be…

Spring Break

I’m really liking these photo montages. It gives me a chance to showcase the boys and add a touch of my usual sarcasm. We recently returned from our family vacation to the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge/Sevierville area. Today I’d like to give you some of our vacation highlights, from the perspective of my inquisitive 4-year-old and know-it-all 6-year-old. Enjoy!

Ripley's Aquarium

“Nate, look at all those fish!”
“Uh-huh.”
“What do fish do?”
“Eat, swim in schools, play, poop, sleep.”
“Oh… Nate… are we fish?”

On hiking the Smoky Mountains:

“Nate, why do we have sticks?”
“They help you walk. And you can use them if any bears come.”
“Come to do what?”
“Come to eat us!”
“Oh… Nate, what if there are no bears?”
“Well… then we can hit mom and dad with them, steal the car, and eat all the fruit snacks.”

Historic Village

“Nate… what is this place?”
“It’s an old house that’s like, a gazillion years old.”
“Where’s the potty?”
“They had to go to the bathroom in one of those outhouses with moons on the door. And they didn’t have electricity either.”
“No television?”
“No Matt. And no Wii.”
“Oh… So Nate, what did they do?”
“I don’t know… chores I guess.”
“That’s stupid.”
“I know. Bor-ing!”

Sung at the top of their lungs, for the 2 1/2 hour drive back to the cabin:
“Little Red Caboose… little red caboose… little red caboose behind the train.
Smokestack on it’s back, back, back, back
Comin’ down the track, track, track, track
Little red caboose behind the train.”

Oh and, of course, throw in a couple “Are we there yet?”s, several “I’m hungry!”s
and
“Did you bring any more fruit snacks?”
in the middle of the song.

Another aquarium photo

“Nate! Look at those!”
“They’re giant stingrays.”
“Oh… why?”
“Because if you mess with them, they’ll sting you. Hey Matt, let’s pick them up by the tail and see what happens!”
“Okay.”

Titanic Museum... And my personal tribute to Celine Deon

My Patch Goes On
(c) 2012

Every night in my dreams
I see them, I hear them
So I put my birth control … patch on

Far across the distance
And long hallways, between us
I still hear their whining… go on

Near… far
Where ever they are
I believe that their fighting
goes on

Once small
Now growing so tall
No “excuse me” for farts so
My patch it goes on and on…

As always, thanks to my loyal followers and thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed the show!