Slow & Steady wins the Race

As many of you know, our family recently attended the Jeep Jamboree in Western Kentucky, near Cadiz. Mostly a wonderful time was had by all, but the Jeep Jamboree in and of itself has nothing to do with the theme of this blog. This picture, however, does:

First of all, I’ll admit I stretched the hell out of this picture so my birthing hips and thighs wouldn’t look quite as big. But that’s not important here. What’s important is my boys are paying attention to me. Both of them. Together. At the same time. Listening. To me. I’m not sure if Denny threatened them with the Gods of War, a pitch off one of the many cliffs on the trail, or taking away their snacks and portable DVD player while off-roading. And I don’t really care. The point is, I had undivided attention from both of them — at the same time — for, like, 30 seconds.

And no, the good behavior didn’t continue, lest this would be a model parenting blog instead of a humorous one. No… it pretty much went downhill (pun intended) from the above picture during staging, before we proceed to the trails. Don’t believe me? Here:

That’s one dirty, sweaty kid trying to decide if he should follow his dad to the far-off tree or just whip down his pants right there in front of everybody, including the camera. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be one with the trees. Oh and he ran screaming from the port-a-potty at the start of the trails. At the most exciting point of our trip — during which Denny was whiter than usual and I was actually doing the stations of the cross, despite not even being Catholic —  Matt was napping.

Actually, I just spoke with the hubs and he told me the other picture I wanted to share was actually a video, which he had to erase to make room for more awesome off-roading footage. But the gist of it was Nate see-sawing on a downed limb, very sure he wanted to be one with the trees. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Ignoring my pleas to respect the woods, while I watched out for the “green police.” I believe at one point Denny wondered aloud what would happen if he threw himself on the unattended side of the limb. Nate’s always wanted to fly.

Anyhoo, for those of you who actually landed on my blog in search of Jeep Jamboree stuff (and not the absolute funniest parenting blog on the web), feel free to do some cuttin’ & pastin’ and check out my public photos on facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3792260015861.159583.1557965925&type=3&l=51aa26f835

And for those of you who landed here in search of some great “Ask Amy” sarcasm: Ask me a question already! Going through a dry spell on my utterly useless advice…

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