Toys ‘R’ Us

I must preface this whole post by saying how much I hate going there. Ugggh.  Uncle Jeff got Nate this really cool remote off-roader for his birthday; but unfortunately, it did not work. Also quite unfortunate, it was from Toys ‘R’ Us. In the trio of “unfortunates”, we went today to “make the exchange.”

Toys ‘R’ Us is the most overwhelming store in the universe. You walk in and there’s an immediate assault on your eyes with all the bright colors, glowing florescents and light-up toys. 
There’s an immediate assault on your ears with all the noisy, talking crap (not to mention whiny children). There’s an immediate assault on your nose with the smelly combo of toddler farts and pre-pubescent boy BO. Finally, there’s an immediate assault on your brain: sticker shock. When did they start charging $40 for a stuffed Papa Smurf? Who’s idea was it to make a Smurf come-back anyway? Smurf-smurf-smurfety-smurf!

Our first stop was the Lego-aisle, where Nate was bound and determined to spend every last bit of his $50 return on Ninjago products. Not $35. Not $40. Fifty dollars, and not a penny less… Too bad the kid has no concept of sales tax. Yeah, mom’s credit card ate that part. At least he bought nothing that neither lit up, talked, smelled or really peed. But all told I believe we are now the proud owner of close to a thousand more lego pieces. Joy.

Our next stop was the train aisle. Naturally, there’s no way we could leave the store with Nate saddled down with toys and nothing for Matt. So Matt brought his own money to buy something. But first we naturally seized on the train table that’s not even as cool as the one we have at home. So we played. And played. And played. Meanwhile Nate persisted in testing out his salesmanship by showing Matt tons of train toys he could not afford. Too much to chose from: Thomas, Chuggington, Brio. We finally settled on an Imaginarium set of four trains. Of course that make sound effects. And light up.

I will say this: We had an extremely helpful sales person. Quite unheard of in Toys ‘R’ Us. From handling our return, to making sure we could find what we needed in legoland, to helping me locate a Wii game as an overdue birthday gift for the cousins: She was good. She needs to quit her minimum-wage sales job and find something with a commission. Either that our peddle Encyclopedia Brittanicas door-to-door. Better yet she could push ViSalus shakes on her unsuspecting friends in a sordid Ponzi-like attempt to score a vacation or a BMW.

And what, you may ask, did mom get as a souvenir from her adventures in toy-land? A headache, a strong desire to hide or break Matt’s new choo-choo, and a son who keeps screaming “darn it” at the top of his lungs every time he puts a lego on wrong. Toys ‘R’ Us: Where a kid can be a kid and a mom could use a margarita…

Time to make a run for the border…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. ClaireElaine
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 21:55:48

    I have been known to buy Toys R Us giftcards from my sons. I don’t ever want to go in that store, so I will give the gift cards to others, and give my boys cash. You’re right: it’s loud, it’s noisy, and it’s WAY overpriced.


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