Wallpaper Bordering on Hell

My summer project is converting my 4-year-old’s bedroom from the nursery it still is to a young boy’s room. It’s already been quite an adventure, and that’s before I began today’s project. Let me get you up to speed:

Not too shabby, huh?

Step One: Finally ordering the bunk beds I have been eyeballing since 2011. Yes, Matt, in some less-than-understood desire to feel like he is, in fact, big, requested bunk beds so he could sleep on the top. Thus began a quest to find bunk beds he liked that were both 1) affordable and 2) made-in-America (meeting a requirement of the hubs). Thanks Linda Lou’s for fulfilling this need. Delivery and installation were reasonable, too. Unfortunately, the workers either had dirty shoes, or the bottom pieces of the bunk were less than scrupulously clean, so my long list of renovating the bedroom projects includes replacing the cream carpets, at some point. On the plus side, Nate hasn’t slept one night in his room since. We are now entertained by their nightly tirade of screaming “You’re stupid!” “No you’re stupid!” “Well, you’re stupider!” at the top of their lungs from their bunks. Brotherly love. Brotherly love.


Step Two: Selling off baby stuff. I began by taking down the baby bib holder that my mom’s been pestering me about for  2 1/2 years. It is cute and homemade by a former co-worker, but it needed to go. I’d get rid of the bibs, too, if they weren’t all covered with a fine yellow coating of baby puke. Matt was a spitter-upper. The new bunk beds came with an attached dresser, so the old white one needed to go, too. I did make the obligatory call to family members, but I wasn’t holding my breath. When it was time to get rid of my childhood four poster canopy bed that I loved, my SIL took it, never put it together, changed her mind and tried to give the monstrous thing back, and then gave it away to an absolute stranger. So much for a family legacy for my niece. Nope, this time I sold our super nice Bassett made-in-America dresser to a good friend for a measly $30. I’m sure it’s worth probably 6 or 7 times that. Oh well: It’s being converted to a dollhouse a la Pinterest and loved on in another SAHM mommy’s attempt at a summer project. Luckily for me and my poor sales skills the toddler car bed stays for when family and friends come to visit.

Step Three: Flooding E-Bay with transportation-themed purchases. I began with a new twin-sized quilt, made some minor purchases of stickers that will become part of summer project #2156, and finally, the dreaded wallpaper border. Now, when I first told Denny I was going to put up a wall border in Matt’s  room, he made a funny little snorting laugh, gave me an “Are you serious?” low-five, and walked off without offering to help. Surprising, coming from a man who is Mr. DIY and thinks he can do all things home improvement. Now I know why.

H – Hire someone else to Hang it

This kind of brings you to the current days events. First day of the summer we’ve had nothing really promising on the agenda, so I thought it might be a good day to tackle the infamous wall border. I must say this job is turning out to be ten times harder than I remember it being when I did this 10+ years ago as a newlywed. Looking back, perhaps it was because, hey, I was ten years younger and surely the stuff I used last time was that adhesive-like self-sticking wall border,  not the “just apply water” sticky real-deal that I’m currently **entangled** in. Also, I am pretty sure my balance was much better ten years ago. I dragged this rickety old ladder that I found in the garage into Matt’s bedroom. If it were a horse it’s racing name wouldn’t be “old faithful the wooden savior” but rather “f**k I fell and broke my arm again.” Thank God putting up a wall border is not a race.

Needless to say, I am currently typing with a fury on the tail-end of my lunch break. In two hours I have managed to hang 1 out of the 4 borders I purchased. I have also managed to 1) cover my arms, hair, and Matt’s carpet that already needs replacing in wallpaper glue, 2) bang my head on the ceiling two times, 3) knock the whole border completely down to the ground three times and 4) drop the F-bomb in front of the boys four times. Thankfully, they just finished eating lunch and headed across the street to play legos with the neighbors. No more stall-blogging. Wallpaper bordering from hell beckons.

~To be continued~


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