Sloppy Joes… Slop…Sloppy Joes. Sloppy Joes… Slop…Sloppy Joes. -Adam Sandler

Otherwise titled: Three Ways to Eat a Sloppy Joe

The Nate (a.k.a. “Sandwich Style”) – Hamburger meat in Sloppy Joe sauce sandwiched into a bun. However, no matter how much or how little meat, Sloppy Joe sauce will inevitably run all down hands and arms and potentially hit sleeves if not thwarted by the closest napkin or paper towel. Use spoon to scrape excess lost meat off plate. Consider licking plate when parental units aren’t looking. Or, brazenly, while they are looking.

The Matt (a.k.a. “Oreo Style”) – Again, same starting concept. However, remove top bun first and consume. Then, use fingers to eat meat. Discard any found chunks of pepper or tomato in small pile on table to the side of dinner plate. Resume eating soggy bottom bun with a fork. Leave remnants of sauce on chin, upper lip, and in corners of mouth until bed-time.

The Peyton (a.k.a “Chipmunk Style”) – Begin with tiny pieces of squashed down flat Sloppy Joe sandwich scattered over high-chair tray. Stuff all pieces into mouth at one time until cheeks puff out. Place excess chunks in hair, ears and nose for safe keeping. Require disgruntled spot cleaning followed by a bath splash-down.


The Mom – Tupperwares excess Sloppy Joe to pursue the same adventure as leftovers in a couple days. Keep Calm and Sloppy On.



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