Chopped Junior in ‘da house, aka the evening I retired from the kitchen for about an hour

It’s no big secret that thing 2 and sometimes thing 1 whine about what I serve for dinner. It may have something to do with the fact that I try to plan an array of varied (true) and healthy (not quite as true) meals since I think eating the same thing night after night is tedious. I mean… really… who can eat chicken nuggets every frickin’ night? Is it even chicken? Their whining might have more to do with the fact that thing 2 has a very particular palate (true), and thing 1 just likes to complain a lot (you bet your ass true).

A couple of nights ago… they staged a revolt. They insisted they wanted to make their own dinners that evening. I believe Nate phrased it something to the effect of my working too hard and needing a night off (not really true since I would still have to slave over a hot stove for the hubs, Sweet Pea and I). Having recently discovered the goodness of soy sauce, Matt was perfectly honest that he wanted to make something with lots of it that night. At any rate, I decided not to argue and let them figure (f***?) it out themselves.


Above is what thing 1 came up with. Not how I would make pizza bagels, but then again I would never blasphemize a bagel by using cut-up hot-dogs as a substitute for pepperoni. Yet overall… not too shabby. Then again, he’s 12. He already nukes his own Chef Boyardee and make his own sandwiches. Oh, and occasionally brushes his own teeth and cleans his own room, but that’s another story. (I did say occasionally, right?) He even cleaned up the tomato sauce he dribbled in several places with his fingers and his tongue.

Number 2’s dinner: Well… it was not quite as palatable. He also began with mini-bagels. Unfortunately, he had to improvise at the eleventh hour when he ran out of an ingredient because Sandy ate it. For those of you who only know me through this blog, Sandy is our 5-month-old hound/retriever puppy. These actions landed Sandy Lou-Hoo in the dog-house.


Bad Thing 4!

Having only half a mini-bagel and needing a top to his “sandwich,” he settled on a hamburger bun. Somewhat logical, I’ll give him that. But inside his **creation**, it was (cue Ted Allen) “Chefs, please open your baskets:”

  • Hot dog slices
  • Leftover white rice
  • Shredded mozzarella cheese
  • Soy sauce

OMG, his disgusting creation is below. I just vomited in my mouth a little adding that picture and remembering that night. And although it took them about 45 minutes to concoct their creations compared to the 20 minutes it took me to prepare a nutritious (not true … insert serious snark) meal to the rest of us, thing 1 and thing 2 ate their dinners. And never complained once. And in our house, 15 minutes of whine-free dining is gold.


I Can’t Even…




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